PALEO MEAL PLAN

 

What is Paleo Meal Plan?

Your diet seems pretty straight forward, right? Fruits, vegetables, things with faces. Fine, easy enough.

But unless you also live like a caveman (and I don’t mean Fred Flintstone), you’re going to get real bored of eating the same three meals over and over, every day, for the rest of your way-longer-than-a-real-caveman lifespan.

So maybe you’re some kind of mad genius chef who can figure out how to take the same 17 ingredients and turn out non-boring meals three times a day. But we doubt it. If you were, you’d be running the Paleo Meal Plan website. But you’re not. You’re reading it, wondering how you can get your own meal plan, a Paleo Meal Plan.

If you’ve pretty much figured out that we are offering a Meal Plan suscription service (which will provide recipes and shopping lists on a regular basis), and you’re already interested in getting it for cheap, you should just skip all the rest of this and click this link right here and buy the thing already so you can get on with your kettle ball routine. If you’re still not sure what the hell’s going on around here, keep reading…

Why do you need this?

Right now you basically have two options for eating Paleo:

1. Eat the same damn meal over and over.
2. Read 15 Paleo Diet cook books and then try to figure out every day whether you’d rather have “Mashed Potatoes” made out of cauliflower or “Chocolate Muffins” made out of dolphin testicles.

While it’s likely your local grocery store chain is thrilled about your experimental buying habits, we think there’s a better way. And no, we’re talking about switching to the microwave version of not-fooling-anyone mashed “potatoes.”

The better way

We have a team of mad chefs with mad skills, working around the clock to research and invent delicious, non-boring meals of food which conform completely to the (let’s face it, somewhat ridiculous) requirements of the Paleo Diet. These meals, which only occaisionally include fake mashed potatoes, are then ordered, sequenced, collated, and cataloged into a fool-proof SYSTEM of daily meal plans.

Daily meal plans are coordinated together across a week of cooking and shopping, to minimize waste and maximize value. (Example: Dolphin testicles on Monday? Why not dolphin steaks on Tuesday. That’s efficiency at its finest.)

Weekly meal plans are indexed into a convenient shopping guide, explaining what to buy and when to buy. Cooking guides are designed to span a week at a time so that you can plan ahead, cook meals when convenient for you, and take charge of your food prep routine.

If you’re already convinced that this is exactly the sort of thing you need, click this link right here to sign up. Or, click the ridiculous looking button over to the side there. Right there. I know you see it.

Wait, so what would I be getting exactly

The Paleo Meal Plan provides a complete system of non-boring, completely awesome daily and weekly cooking, eating, and shopping guides, all completely in accord with the Paleo Diet and (we know it’s a thing) the Paleo Lifestyle.

Once a week, every week, you will receive TWO WEEKS worth of meal plans. (So you can plan/shop ahead if you want to.) Each week’s meal plan includes:

• Three meals a day
• Complete food prep instructions
• Organized shopping guide
• Additional ideas for snacks, desserts, and special items

You’ll get this week’s plan, and next week’s plan each week. (Next week, you’ll get that week’s plan and the one for the week after.)

These will be emailed straight to you each week in printable and read-on-screen formats.

And this will cost me…?

Less than the price of being fat and sick all the time like those non-Paleo losers.

And, seriously, way less than the cost of buying a bunch of Paleo Diet cook books and wasting food trying to figure this shit out for yourself.

Some people pay as much as $1000 a week, or even more, for personalized food plans. We think those people are damn fools.

We know that this meal plan system would be a great value at $30 a month. That seems about right to us. Like basic cable in 1997. Just about a dollar a day.

But that’s not what we’re selling it for. Based on sophisticated market research, and for a limited time only, we are offering the complete, all-you-need Paleo Meal Plan subscription for only $7.99 a month.

That’s less than half the cost of one moderately-decent steak. It’s probably a quarter or less of your monthly gym bill. Back when you still ate crap food all the time, you couldn’t even get out of Arby’s for less than that.

Buy it. Now.

You know you need it. You know that the twin enemies of food boredom and cooking complexity will eventually wreak havoc on your Paleo lifstyle if you don’t take concrete steps to subdue them now. And you know “now” means “right fucking now.”

Click this link right here, right now to subscribe to the Paleo Meal Plan service. Or if you don’t like that link, click this one instead. And if you hate links, but love buttons, here’s a button you can press instead: